Diapers are awesome!

I'm very thankful that I'm a diaper lover.  In a way, I'm thankful for being a former bedwetter, otherwise wearing adult diapers as an adult man would feel awful, even embarrassing, humiliating, & I'd also feel ashamed for not being able to control my bowels/bladder very well!

Imagine being told at age 10, & your parents telling you that you're the ONE & ONLY 10yr old bedwetter in the entire world.  That was the kind of psychological abuse that went on in my family.  That emotional abuse that was meant to be humiliating!  Such things were just awful!  

Thankfully, because of those awful experiences, the awful pain of being a child at the cusp of being a teenager who was also a bedwetter, I have welcomed being a diaper lover, a sexual virgin, & an unmarried man not creeped out by women who enjoy wearing diapers as well!

To be honest, at age 12 I would've given just about anything to know that there were indeed female bedwetters who had also been forced to wear diapers like I had been a few times during my childhood.  I wouldn't find out that fact until I was in my mid-teens & had been "cured"!  When I got older, and into my teens, I was eager to find via AOL (or any other internet connection) some female (teen girls at the time, later adult women) former bedwetter ladies, maybe even find a few diaper lovers  who were similarly brought up to believe that they were the ONLY child in the world who had bedwetting issues.  Of course, I don't have many (non-sexual & otherwise) lady friends, and the ones that I do have (all non-sexual platonic ones) are probably not really into kinks, so I don't blurt out loud my personal kinks, i.e. being a diaper lover, wearing adult diapers for fun, etc.

But, ironically, as a result of being a bedwetter, I ended up experimenting at 17 yrs old with wearing adult diapers.  Turned out that it was an awesome experience to not be at the mercy of a nearby restroom/bathroom/toilet.  That if I had an "uh-oh", it's no big deal!

A favorite tale of mine about being a diaper lover was when I had just started wearing adult diapers which in the true event tale was one of those "Uh-oh" moments.  I had just gotten a sample pack from HDIS, but I was concerned about the parental unit that I was living with at the time, during my senior year of high school in 1998 in Las Vegas, NV.  Pretty sure it was between my various surgeries, but before my graduation ceremony.  

It was on a typical Friday evening, and as usual no date, no girlfriend, not one thing I was interested in doing, but again, I just had surgery.  Between all of the pain medications, I was almost always not feeling well.  So, I had put one of the sample adult diapers that night, but I was unfamiliar with how to put them on, so I admittedly had to look up instructions on how to do for myself.  I had ZERO training in diaper duties, because I had zero experience dealing with babysitting duties.

After I was successful putting on my first adult diaper, I took one of my pain medications, and off to sleep I went.  The next morning, I had awakened to a sour tummy ache.  I thought I just had to fart, but it turned out to be one of those "Uh-oh" moments.  At first, I was terrified, having just shit myself while in bed.  Then I had realized that I had an adult diaper on, which protected my bed.  

Moments later, the 1/2 of the parental couple that had recently been divorced came bursting through my bedroom door having barely knocked at all.  I could've been fucking masturbating, but it would've made no difference to this parent.  She came in worried about me going to school that day.  "C'mon, you'll be late for school!", she exclaimed like I had completely forgotten about school.

I had to first calm down after being unduly alarmed, and then I told her in the nicest way possible, "Mom, it's a Saturday.  Since when does anybody go to school on a Saturday?"  She actually had to pause for that one, and actually think about it.  Then she said, "Oh, yeah I forgot that it was Saturday."

She immediately closed the door, and I went back to sleep, but I couldn't knowing that my adult diaper had a small mess in the rear.  And by small, I mean it was barely a pooling of the brown kind at all.  But I had to wait until the parental unit left to go out with friends that morning.

Bottom line was I was happy to be in adult diapers.  Previously, I had issues with bedwetting prior to age 13, having accidents while going to grade school/elementary school up until I was in 4th grade, & got better at asking to go use the bathroom/restroom at school so I wouldn't have an "Uh-oh" moment!

Long story short, those unpleasant experiences, even the ones when I had been forced into diapers (baby diapers) when I was 7 or 8 years old paved the way to me being a tried & true diaper lover.  And although I'm still hesitant to reveal that to my friends, and 98% of my family, who are almost all religious & felt I was the demon child spawn of Satan/The Devil or even Lucifer, and didn't hold me in high regard to begin with.  I mean, at this point, it wouldn't matter if I told them, but being an aspiring musician makes me reconsider whom I tell this secret to.  

I'd much prefer it be to a female intimate relationship partner.  Someone who understands that this is fun for me, except when the adult diapers become sort of required wearing for reasons of using medication that makes me constipated, which forces me to use OTC medications to counteract it.  The result is having an Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Irritable Bowel Disease.

Still, though, if I didn't enjoy wearing the adult diapers beforehand, I'd feel fucking depressed & ashamed to have to wear them.  So, I'm grateful that I can not only tolerate wearing them, but take pleasure in using them when I need to, and have more pleasure wearing them when I don't need to.

I guess some things are true about the idea that our past, no matter how great or how awful, shape our adult life in the future.  I wonder what I'd be like if I hadn't been a bedwetter, or if I hadn't met certain individuals.  If we do nothing else as adults, we should be setting the example that adult diapers are nothing to be ashamed about.  "Accidents happen" should be our top phrase, because they do, & the only thing we can do is accept that bathroom accidents will inevitably happen, and when they do, we can either be prepared (w/ adult diapers), or having to chuck our big boy (or big girl) panties down the trash in public (I admit I've done this when I was little) & replace them with new batches of underwear!

Some things should not be "remade". Ever!

I don't know where to begin, but I guess I'll start with how things were when I was growing up.  Of course, that in itself could be a long and very drawn out story all its own, so I'll try to keep it as brief as I can.

Although I was born in the very late 1970's, much of my childhood was in the 1980's & the 1990's as well.  During that time, because I was born with certain congenital problems, I had problems with school bullying/harassment on top of having to go to doctor's offices, having them perform tests & procedures, often going to the OR (Operating Room) & the ER (Emergency Room).  On top of all this was being in a home environment full of abuse & assault not just on mine & my older brother's mother, but ourselves as well being at the mercy of an alcoholic, drug addict father.  When he was sober, we nicknamed him the "Disneyland Dad" Dr. Jeykll version.  When he was NOT sober, he became the nightmare version of "Mr. Hyde."

It became so bad that I had experienced many panic attacks as a child.  Now, some among my family relatives might argue that, as a a disabled child, I did things that could've been "deserving" of such treatment.  Most of this went beyond a simple "spanking", so no.  Nothing is ever deserving of treatment that borders or is outright abusive & would be considered assault in this day & age.  I often went to school wondering if I had scabs in my head from being struck so many times, but because at that time I had really thick hair, no one ever noticed me checking to see if there had been blood or bloody scabs.

Anyway, there were lucid moments in our family dynamic when we did get together and, in rare form, would actually coexist with each other having fun while as a real family.  Our only real "Family Time" was on Sunday evenings, particularly in the late 1980's.

 Last night (June 6th, 2019) I decided to get diapered up into my adult diapers for the evening despite my having a rather hectic day (again) today.  I began to watch the old TV series "Married With Children", and I came to realize just how awfully sexist it is, even misogynistic, and yet many of the showrunners" were female!  Who knew?  Maybe that was their idea all along to show men that watched the show that women are fed up with their sexist shit, or that women too had equally troublesome & undesirable traits.  Or both.  What I think happened was the opposite, but that is neither the point or the message I want to convey here.

I mean, this was one of two shows (the other one being "The Simpsons") that, while growing up, were the two TV series in which my immediate family unit (myself, the older sibling, my mom & dad) all watched together, and in the same room.  And the kicker?  We were not all trying to yell at each other, or worse, try to kill each other.  We may have been very dysfunctional, but I think that was why we identified so much of our quaint little family unit a lot! 

It was extraordinarily rare for any of us to miss an episode, because it was the full hour of television in which we were peacefully setting aside time to be with each other.  Like our "neutral zone" as it were.  Though now that I have been watching the series MWC as an adult, I find Al Bundy to be as much an unnecessary asshole as Peggy Bundy is an unnecessary antagonist & anti-"all men who resembled Al Bundy" like their mutual nosy neighbor, Marcy Rhodes Darcy.  When I watch it, I see it as the pure garbage negative television that it is, worse than Jerry Springer.  Though Maybe it was a necessary look into how families across the country who were either low middle class, poor, etc really behaved not just to each other, but to the people around them and in the community.  Maybe the days of "Leave it to Beaver" & "Father Knows Best" were just totally snowing us (blowing up bullshit into our minds) to believe that "perfect families" existed, when we know now that there is no such thing as a "perfect family", and never has been.

When someone says how they liked the days when children respected their parents, either through intimidation, or through fear of "God", ask them how that went in their home.  When they say "All I needed was my butt whooped, and I acted straight (good)!", ask them if that was REALLY how it was.  Because as much as I am well behaved now, I don't credit it to the alcoholism, the substance abuse, on the part of my late father who seemed to believe in much the same philosophy.  I don't believe in the idea of "parenting with an `Iron Rule' kind of approach", but I also don't believe in the idea to do "parenting w/ a "hands off" approach" either.  There has to be a right balance, coupled with patience, understanding, and realizing that just because your parents whooped your ass, sometimes harshly, doesn't mean it's appropriate in this day & age.  If ever while you've "spanked" your child, that your hand goes from open hand to a closed fist, or that you go into a rage-filled anger toward something minor your kid did, you've just crossed the line from being disciplinarian to "abusive parent". 

Anyway, thankfully when I am diapered up, watching crappy shows like MWC don't bother me as much anymore.  I occasionally wish that we were a better behaved family unit dynamic.  The TV series MWC & the other dysfunctional family, "The Simpsons" made our world (among countless others) sitcom'ed television.  Sometimes, we felt like someone took our family's social dynamic while incognito, and made it into one of the longest running sitcoms in television.  But it wasn't the greatest sitcom ever!  As I said, I see it for what it is now.  It's fucking garbage!!

In every measurable sense, MWC is as much garbage TV as say MTV's "16 & Pregnant" or any other supposed "Reality TV" genre of our day (and decades prior).  I'd put it up there with the likes of "Jerry Springer", "Maury Povich", even "Dr. Phil".  But does that mean we need to regress back to "Leave it to Beaver", "The Patty Duke Show", "Mr. Ed", etc?  No, I don't think going back is a good idea, but I don't think indulging in "reality television" is a good thing either.  What we need is something that, while promoting a more positive lifestyle in families of any dynamic, reminds us that there are challenges to being a complicated family.  That real shit does happen, and needs to be dealt with in a very real way, but with patience, understanding, compassion, and I don't know... maybe a little bit of restraint in how any of us respond.  Remember, kids learn more by body language than they do by any adult speaking to them about anything they say or do that is "off color" or a "potty mouth" situation.  The goal should be LEADING BY EXAMPLE!  Something I think we've often forgotten in the world of instant gratification, instant reactions but little action in substance, instant knee-jerk comments like "I was raised by the belt, and I turned out okay!" mentality.  Because a "one size fits all" disciplinary method is NOT always going to be the "cure" to poor manners, misbehaving children, poor attention spans, etc.

If you're not leading by example, and explaining why along the way, you're not teaching your kids shit!  If you can realize that one truth, maybe there's hope for us all!  Or so I hope!

With love,

Lt. Col. F1r3ch1ck3n 2019