Some things should not be "remade". Ever!

I don't know where to begin, but I guess I'll start with how things were when I was growing up.  Of course, that in itself could be a long and very drawn out story all its own, so I'll try to keep it as brief as I can.

Although I was born in the very late 1970's, much of my childhood was in the 1980's & the 1990's as well.  During that time, because I was born with certain congenital problems, I had problems with school bullying/harassment on top of having to go to doctor's offices, having them perform tests & procedures, often going to the OR (Operating Room) & the ER (Emergency Room).  On top of all this was being in a home environment full of abuse & assault not just on mine & my older brother's mother, but ourselves as well being at the mercy of an alcoholic, drug addict father.  When he was sober, we nicknamed him the "Disneyland Dad" Dr. Jeykll version.  When he was NOT sober, he became the nightmare version of "Mr. Hyde."

It became so bad that I had experienced many panic attacks as a child.  Now, some among my family relatives might argue that, as a a disabled child, I did things that could've been "deserving" of such treatment.  Most of this went beyond a simple "spanking", so no.  Nothing is ever deserving of treatment that borders or is outright abusive & would be considered assault in this day & age.  I often went to school wondering if I had scabs in my head from being struck so many times, but because at that time I had really thick hair, no one ever noticed me checking to see if there had been blood or bloody scabs.

Anyway, there were lucid moments in our family dynamic when we did get together and, in rare form, would actually coexist with each other having fun while as a real family.  Our only real "Family Time" was on Sunday evenings, particularly in the late 1980's.

 Last night (June 6th, 2019) I decided to get diapered up into my adult diapers for the evening despite my having a rather hectic day (again) today.  I began to watch the old TV series "Married With Children", and I came to realize just how awfully sexist it is, even misogynistic, and yet many of the showrunners" were female!  Who knew?  Maybe that was their idea all along to show men that watched the show that women are fed up with their sexist shit, or that women too had equally troublesome & undesirable traits.  Or both.  What I think happened was the opposite, but that is neither the point or the message I want to convey here.

I mean, this was one of two shows (the other one being "The Simpsons") that, while growing up, were the two TV series in which my immediate family unit (myself, the older sibling, my mom & dad) all watched together, and in the same room.  And the kicker?  We were not all trying to yell at each other, or worse, try to kill each other.  We may have been very dysfunctional, but I think that was why we identified so much of our quaint little family unit a lot! 

It was extraordinarily rare for any of us to miss an episode, because it was the full hour of television in which we were peacefully setting aside time to be with each other.  Like our "neutral zone" as it were.  Though now that I have been watching the series MWC as an adult, I find Al Bundy to be as much an unnecessary asshole as Peggy Bundy is an unnecessary antagonist & anti-"all men who resembled Al Bundy" like their mutual nosy neighbor, Marcy Rhodes Darcy.  When I watch it, I see it as the pure garbage negative television that it is, worse than Jerry Springer.  Though Maybe it was a necessary look into how families across the country who were either low middle class, poor, etc really behaved not just to each other, but to the people around them and in the community.  Maybe the days of "Leave it to Beaver" & "Father Knows Best" were just totally snowing us (blowing up bullshit into our minds) to believe that "perfect families" existed, when we know now that there is no such thing as a "perfect family", and never has been.

When someone says how they liked the days when children respected their parents, either through intimidation, or through fear of "God", ask them how that went in their home.  When they say "All I needed was my butt whooped, and I acted straight (good)!", ask them if that was REALLY how it was.  Because as much as I am well behaved now, I don't credit it to the alcoholism, the substance abuse, on the part of my late father who seemed to believe in much the same philosophy.  I don't believe in the idea of "parenting with an `Iron Rule' kind of approach", but I also don't believe in the idea to do "parenting w/ a "hands off" approach" either.  There has to be a right balance, coupled with patience, understanding, and realizing that just because your parents whooped your ass, sometimes harshly, doesn't mean it's appropriate in this day & age.  If ever while you've "spanked" your child, that your hand goes from open hand to a closed fist, or that you go into a rage-filled anger toward something minor your kid did, you've just crossed the line from being disciplinarian to "abusive parent". 

Anyway, thankfully when I am diapered up, watching crappy shows like MWC don't bother me as much anymore.  I occasionally wish that we were a better behaved family unit dynamic.  The TV series MWC & the other dysfunctional family, "The Simpsons" made our world (among countless others) sitcom'ed television.  Sometimes, we felt like someone took our family's social dynamic while incognito, and made it into one of the longest running sitcoms in television.  But it wasn't the greatest sitcom ever!  As I said, I see it for what it is now.  It's fucking garbage!!

In every measurable sense, MWC is as much garbage TV as say MTV's "16 & Pregnant" or any other supposed "Reality TV" genre of our day (and decades prior).  I'd put it up there with the likes of "Jerry Springer", "Maury Povich", even "Dr. Phil".  But does that mean we need to regress back to "Leave it to Beaver", "The Patty Duke Show", "Mr. Ed", etc?  No, I don't think going back is a good idea, but I don't think indulging in "reality television" is a good thing either.  What we need is something that, while promoting a more positive lifestyle in families of any dynamic, reminds us that there are challenges to being a complicated family.  That real shit does happen, and needs to be dealt with in a very real way, but with patience, understanding, compassion, and I don't know... maybe a little bit of restraint in how any of us respond.  Remember, kids learn more by body language than they do by any adult speaking to them about anything they say or do that is "off color" or a "potty mouth" situation.  The goal should be LEADING BY EXAMPLE!  Something I think we've often forgotten in the world of instant gratification, instant reactions but little action in substance, instant knee-jerk comments like "I was raised by the belt, and I turned out okay!" mentality.  Because a "one size fits all" disciplinary method is NOT always going to be the "cure" to poor manners, misbehaving children, poor attention spans, etc.

If you're not leading by example, and explaining why along the way, you're not teaching your kids shit!  If you can realize that one truth, maybe there's hope for us all!  Or so I hope!

With love,

Lt. Col. F1r3ch1ck3n 2019

The Disney film "Aladdin" live action vs. animated versions!

This morning's blog post is about the following tweet from Twitter:

Aladdin tweet (Remake live action film based on the original animated 1992 film of the same title!)

I'm a little biased towards the original 1992 animated film.   At the time, I had a crush on a young woman whom the character "Jasmine" reminded me of her.  A lot.  If things went differently in my life, I'm fairly certain she would've been "the one"!

By that, I mean "the one" who I'd have eventually opened up to about my struggles w/ bedwetting (until I was 13yrs old), my fantasies of wearing diapers & of women wearing diapers, etc.  Of course, it didn't happen like that, so I ended up being literally a 40yr old virgin!  Essentially, I have no doubt she would've been the one friend I would have admitted to in confidence about my ABDL (lean heavily towards being a "Diaper Lover") tendencies, resulting mainly from my years as a bedwetter. 

The memories that stick out most in my mind when I think of her from this movie's original 1992 animated version is how she was always warm, compassionate, wanting to help others any way she could, showing empathy & sympathy for other students & other people.  I remember one instance when, after I had the privilege & the honor to sit alongside this young lady who was my crush during that last year in grade school during lunch, we had our normal lunch recess time (play time).  After 30mins, the bell rang to go back to class, and I happen to witness a little girl, possibly a Kindergartner or 1st grade student in the same school, who fell after tripping on a tree root in the patch of grass next to the lunch tables.

She was crying hysterically, but not ONE person offered to help her up, or to get the school nurse, nothing.  Not even the playground monitors & faculty staff.  Until this young lady who was my main crush had seen that little girl crying, and walked up to her, knelt beside her, and tried to console her until a faculty member DID finally take notice.  It was that one instance of her showing empathy & graceful compassion with a soothing voice to help that little girl feel better, and that told me all I needed to know about that young lady, my crush. 

I wish sometimes I could reach out to that young lady, now of course probably married, has kids, etc, and let her know that is why I believe her to be the most kind & understanding young woman I know, even if our time at that school together was brief.  I want her to know that I respect her greatly for that one instance where I saw her helping others as much as she had helped me to cope with the bullying, my problems with an abusive home environment, and also having tons of medical problems from birth defects.  When I saw her doing the same thing for that little girl that she had done for me, I was extraordinary impressed. 

I was in awe of her showing kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy/sympathy, graceful friendliness, a good sense of humor, & genuinely wanted to help people.  If I ever have to do a tribute speech about anyone I feel is worthy of tribute, it would be her.  The young woman who, with her help, has shown me a glimmer of hope, a glimpse of what it's like to have someone care enough to want to help another person out of a kind of obligation to her fellow human being.  An obligation to be kind, to be empathetic, & showing that compassion isn't a lost art among the human race.

I wish only that, if she has kids (and I'm sure she probably does), she has taught them to have the same level of benevolence & humanity that she has shown me!  Taught them right from wrong, and that being an unnecessary asshat / assclown is NOT the goal.  That being hurtful is unacceptable behavior!!  Treating others badly, or being unsympathetic, un-empathetic, or otherwise being highly & inappropriately abusive to someone is also highly inappropriate behavior for anyone, anywhere.

But most of all, I wish for her to know that I remember that incident, and it forever changed my views of the human race.  That there are people in this world who believe in treating people w/ kindness, love, compassion, empathy/sympathy, & being helpful not hurtful!  Being of assistance, not being abusive!  It's because of her one act of compassion that I witnessed (she could've done much more, but that one with the little girl was what sticks in my mind) that helped reignite my interest in Star Trek, Star Wars, & the ideal that we should all be helping each other, rather than hurt ourselves & each other.  That acts of kindness, good deeds, good treatment of others are far more important than being affluent, being famous or a celebrity, or having any sort of high profile job or important title in any profession.  She's also the reason I want to be a musician!  To show people, to express my emotions & feelings about showing that same kindness to everyone is how we will survive this era in our world's history.

Emotional, physical, social, sexual, mental abuse is ALL bad!  Being the opposite of abusive should be the high goals of any one person. 

I know I'm repeating myself, but the film Aladdin reminds me of that young woman, & brings back those memories of that time in my life when I was becoming a teen, later a young adult, & not having the kind of normal life milestones that most people have due to multiple factors & reasons.

I want only to show people how much this young woman has impacted my life in a positive way.  To put on display how I felt during a tumultuous time in my life.  That is why music is so important to me!