I tried unsuccessfully to use a sex doll

Some people might get embarrassed about doing this, but I am not.  I bought a female-based sex doll for the sole purpose of learning what it's like to have a sexual experience,  albeit one that is only an approximation.  That, though, was NOT the embarrassing part of this endeavor. 

What I am embarrassed to admit is that when I went to use the sex doll, I didn't know at all what to do, i.e. how to have sex w/ it as though the doll were an actual woman.  I felt a little bit unsure of how to proceed with something that I know isn't a real woman, is an inanimate object, & also it just felt weird.  It didn't help that when I was trying to insert my main man-parts into the sex doll, I wasn't feeling anywhere at all aroused.  I even tried to get aroused trying to masturbate to achieve that arousal effect, but it just wasn't happening.  That's when I began to feel.... odd.  Like as though I must be the only 41year old man in the United States, possibly the world over, who didn't know how to have sex with a sex doll.  Because all I've ever know was how to masturbate privately, and even that I have begun to question in recent years if I'm even doing that right at all, either.

Please, someone tell me this is normal.  That feeling weird about using a sex doll is "normal", and that there are guys (and gals) out there who have not had any experience having sex with sex dolls, much less actual men or women.  Please tell me I'm not as weird as I think I am!  

Otherwise, I'm feeling like I'm quite the failure at doing something that should be self explanatory on how to achieve.  I bought the sex doll because, like any adult in the world today and at any given time, I have needs that can't be satisfied with hobbies like putting together puzzles, playing video games, watching TV/Movies, or just jamming to music.  

The kind of needs that require either a sex doll, or a real person, to relieve the sexual frustration, the sexual energy & arousal, sort of like a release valve if you will to get that relief from releasing that sexual feeling onto either another person, or through the use of sex toys.  

I'm still the same man I was prior to my purchase.  I'm still that same man who doesn't want to open a Pandora's box by having sex with a real woman because I know the consequences of such an act therein.  I know that unless I'm prepared to be with that woman for the rest of my life, and at some point prepared to handle having the great responsibility of creating a new generation of younglings to my family line, I must not participate in sexual activities with a woman, any women, unless I can handle the consequences thereafter.  And I'm just not prepared for any of that.

Though, I still need to release the sexual energy & frustration once in a while.  Besides, having a sex doll is a great way to have that sexual release valve so that when I finally do meet the right woman, the one I'm destined to be married to, I won't feel the need to have sexual intercourse with her until we're both ready for those consequences.

But I have to be honest, I'm a little embarrassed that I haven't been able to figure out how best to use the sex doll in a way that feels like I have my needs met sexually.  Maybe I'm not meant to have sex at all! 😔