ABDL sex doll and I

So, I went & bought a sex doll.  That alone felt weird, even though I have legitimate reasons to have one since as a man, I have needs that can't be satisfied w/o an actual girlfriend or wife.  Then, I bought adult diapers for that sex doll.  I know that was pretty weird too!

Though, the way I see it this is about the closest I will get to having a diapered girlfriend/wife in my life.  Unless the pandemic were declared to be over tomorrow, & then I could go out to meet women who could potentially be my future "Ms. Right" girlfriend/wife, the possibility of me having met the woman who could be that potential future wife is at a very low percentage.  The fact is even before the pandemic hit the U.S. of A., I was pretty isolated.  I live in an apartment alone, and now without my own vehicle to drive, I have virtually no private transportation to rely on, and to boot I'm on a fixed income being disabled and unable to work.

So, for me, meeting women and potentially finding "Ms. Right", and maybe just maybe having her be an AB/DL or that I could "introduce" my future girlfriend (later wife) to it, that's all not very probable for me.  I mean, I've tried online dating sites, tried dating apps like OkCupid!, Hinge, etc, and to this day, I've never been on an actual date "date".  Came close once, but... I dunno.  Maybe I'm just un-dateable!  I'm blind in one eye permanently, I feel sexually repressed, and after reading how there have been really creepy men who've treated many a woman often badly or just very creepy, it doesn't exactly give me any confidence to asking a woman out, because the last thing I want to do is continue the awful stereotype that many women project onto "all men", because to them, the few men they've either dated or had been with who turned out to be awful experiences are deemed "all men".

That, in itself, I despise for many reasons!  Don't misunderstand me.  I don't deny that there's been awful men who have done awful things to women.  There has even been some men who have terrorized women for selfish reasons.  What I refuse to do is contribute to that earned stereotype.  Just like I won't proclaim "all women" to be "nothing but bitches" for all kinds of dumbass reasons.  I won't even do that after having had zero actual dates, or having been rejected multiple times.

What I do want is to feel like a regular man who is sensitive, who can be both strong but also have valid feelings, and also have desires like any other man, but without the narcissistic, bigoted, misogynist, sexist attitudes that have been the defining attributes of some men I know.  And no, "guilt by association" isn't a real thing!  I will not lump "all women" into the same category of sone misandrist women who are basically "man-bashers", or what I've come to understand as being women who had some bad experiences, but want to punish all men for the actions of the few.

Until such time as I can feel comfortable while in my early 40's that it's safe to be having sexual intimacy, much less be dating women at all, I plan to use the sex doll that I purchased in a "pretend" fashion.  If I could cuddle with it, and if it could talk to me as well, I would be happy in that regard that I have a "girlfriend", albeit an artificial one.

With that in mind, I have also gotten diapers that I hope will fit the sex doll, and then I can have the doll be diapered alongside myself, how I always wanted it to be should I have the honor of being with a woman who also wears diapers, but also would be my girlfriend with the lease option of one day becoming my future wife! 

I don't think this is unreasonable, and to be fair about it, as long as there's a pandemic, as long as I get rejected because of men before me acting like assholes, as long as there are women who are "man-haters", then I will have a need to release my sexual frustrations, and fulfill my sexual desires despite being a lifelong virgin.