What dreams may come

So, some time ago, I had issues with my mental health after a suicide attempt.  I'm not going to get into details, but needless to say I had at least one counselor ask me (when I lived in Las Vegas, NV USA) the following:

"So, let's say you were successful in your attempt & died, and God asked you what you would want in regards to what would make you happy, what would it be?"

Of course, at the time, I couldn't answer.  Mostly because I didn't know how to answer in a way that would be understood by the counselors at the hospital at the time.  But over the last decade, I have come to think of a few possible ideas if I had died, or when I do die sometime in the future, decades from now (as anyone would hope).  For the record, I'm not religious, not even a Christian!

This is the overall beginning to each response!

I've died, and I meet with God who asks me (not using my real name):

"James T. Knight, I understand that you were never truly happy in your life.  I understand that there was a lot of pain, anguish, despair, and a lot of abuse & assault that happened in your life.  None of which I ever meant for you to go through.  You didn't deserve any of it!  

That being said, I offer the following.  If there's anything I can do to make things right, name it!  Nothing is off limits!"

Scenario #1

My response: 

"Well, I would like to live out one of a few of my fantasies.  The first being that I am saving the world from an evil parallel universe version of me & becoming an immortal!"

Of course, that wouldn't be a good one to ask for.  There's a measure of dangerous risk involved.  I'd have to be fairly trained, and in good physical condition.  So, that one is off the table.  For now.

Scenario #2

My response:

"I would love to relive a specific moment in time when I got dance with my 6th grade, and hopefully from then on live out a life in which I not only get to know her better, but become someone who remains an intimate and integral part of my life.  Maybe even develop a romantic relationship with her someday."

The only thing with that is it would be undoing her own life, which I'm sure is a fulfilling one with a loving husband, and children that she loves, and I wouldn't want to take that away from her.  If she's happy, then I'm content with her being happy with what life she's made for herself.

That brings me to:

Scenario #3

My response:

"I've been wanting, for the last several years, to find my own Ms. Right.  A woman who, like myself, likes wearing diapers but also sometimes wears them for necessity.  But I'd want her to be able to take care of herself without me if that is what she wants.  Don't get me wrong, if she were to ask for help, I'd gladly do so, but only upon her request.  I'd want for her to help take care of me when I don't feel well, but especially when I know I should be in my diapers, but I am either not feeling well or not wanting to make the effort to get myself into diapers.

Plus, it'd be nice if this Ms. Right were someone who'd make sure I was properly disciplined (spanked) if I would be unruly or misbehaving.  And that she too would gladly undergo being disciplined (spanked) if she needed it.  Ideally, we'd be equals in this manner.

I don't particularly believe in being a dominant or a submissive.  I'd just want for us to be equals to each other.  If she needs a spanking and a diaper change, then I will do so for her.  If I need a spanking and a diaper change, then she will provide that to me.

This would be, by far, the one thing that would.make me very happy.  If she happened to be like me having blindness in one eye (the left eye), but able to still drive, that would be even sweeter on the deal.  I could live with ALL OF THAT!

Diapers are awesome!

I'm very thankful that I'm a diaper lover.  In a way, I'm thankful for being a former bedwetter, otherwise wearing adult diapers as an adult man would feel awful, even embarrassing, humiliating, & I'd also feel ashamed for not being able to control my bowels/bladder very well!

Imagine being told at age 10, & your parents telling you that you're the ONE & ONLY 10yr old bedwetter in the entire world.  That was the kind of psychological abuse that went on in my family.  That emotional abuse that was meant to be humiliating!  Such things were just awful!  

Thankfully, because of those awful experiences, the awful pain of being a child at the cusp of being a teenager who was also a bedwetter, I have welcomed being a diaper lover, a sexual virgin, & an unmarried man not creeped out by women who enjoy wearing diapers as well!

To be honest, at age 12 I would've given just about anything to know that there were indeed female bedwetters who had also been forced to wear diapers like I had been a few times during my childhood.  I wouldn't find out that fact until I was in my mid-teens & had been "cured"!  When I got older, and into my teens, I was eager to find via AOL (or any other internet connection) some female (teen girls at the time, later adult women) former bedwetter ladies, maybe even find a few diaper lovers  who were similarly brought up to believe that they were the ONLY child in the world who had bedwetting issues.  Of course, I don't have many (non-sexual & otherwise) lady friends, and the ones that I do have (all non-sexual platonic ones) are probably not really into kinks, so I don't blurt out loud my personal kinks, i.e. being a diaper lover, wearing adult diapers for fun, etc.

But, ironically, as a result of being a bedwetter, I ended up experimenting at 17 yrs old with wearing adult diapers.  Turned out that it was an awesome experience to not be at the mercy of a nearby restroom/bathroom/toilet.  That if I had an "uh-oh", it's no big deal!

A favorite tale of mine about being a diaper lover was when I had just started wearing adult diapers which in the true event tale was one of those "Uh-oh" moments.  I had just gotten a sample pack from HDIS, but I was concerned about the parental unit that I was living with at the time, during my senior year of high school in 1998 in Las Vegas, NV.  Pretty sure it was between my various surgeries, but before my graduation ceremony.  

It was on a typical Friday evening, and as usual no date, no girlfriend, not one thing I was interested in doing, but again, I just had surgery.  Between all of the pain medications, I was almost always not feeling well.  So, I had put one of the sample adult diapers that night, but I was unfamiliar with how to put them on, so I admittedly had to look up instructions on how to do for myself.  I had ZERO training in diaper duties, because I had zero experience dealing with babysitting duties.

After I was successful putting on my first adult diaper, I took one of my pain medications, and off to sleep I went.  The next morning, I had awakened to a sour tummy ache.  I thought I just had to fart, but it turned out to be one of those "Uh-oh" moments.  At first, I was terrified, having just shit myself while in bed.  Then I had realized that I had an adult diaper on, which protected my bed.  

Moments later, the 1/2 of the parental couple that had recently been divorced came bursting through my bedroom door having barely knocked at all.  I could've been fucking masturbating, but it would've made no difference to this parent.  She came in worried about me going to school that day.  "C'mon, you'll be late for school!", she exclaimed like I had completely forgotten about school.

I had to first calm down after being unduly alarmed, and then I told her in the nicest way possible, "Mom, it's a Saturday.  Since when does anybody go to school on a Saturday?"  She actually had to pause for that one, and actually think about it.  Then she said, "Oh, yeah I forgot that it was Saturday."

She immediately closed the door, and I went back to sleep, but I couldn't knowing that my adult diaper had a small mess in the rear.  And by small, I mean it was barely a pooling of the brown kind at all.  But I had to wait until the parental unit left to go out with friends that morning.

Bottom line was I was happy to be in adult diapers.  Previously, I had issues with bedwetting prior to age 13, having accidents while going to grade school/elementary school up until I was in 4th grade, & got better at asking to go use the bathroom/restroom at school so I wouldn't have an "Uh-oh" moment!

Long story short, those unpleasant experiences, even the ones when I had been forced into diapers (baby diapers) when I was 7 or 8 years old paved the way to me being a tried & true diaper lover.  And although I'm still hesitant to reveal that to my friends, and 98% of my family, who are almost all religious & felt I was the demon child spawn of Satan/The Devil or even Lucifer, and didn't hold me in high regard to begin with.  I mean, at this point, it wouldn't matter if I told them, but being an aspiring musician makes me reconsider whom I tell this secret to.  

I'd much prefer it be to a female intimate relationship partner.  Someone who understands that this is fun for me, except when the adult diapers become sort of required wearing for reasons of using medication that makes me constipated, which forces me to use OTC medications to counteract it.  The result is having an Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Irritable Bowel Disease.

Still, though, if I didn't enjoy wearing the adult diapers beforehand, I'd feel fucking depressed & ashamed to have to wear them.  So, I'm grateful that I can not only tolerate wearing them, but take pleasure in using them when I need to, and have more pleasure wearing them when I don't need to.

I guess some things are true about the idea that our past, no matter how great or how awful, shape our adult life in the future.  I wonder what I'd be like if I hadn't been a bedwetter, or if I hadn't met certain individuals.  If we do nothing else as adults, we should be setting the example that adult diapers are nothing to be ashamed about.  "Accidents happen" should be our top phrase, because they do, & the only thing we can do is accept that bathroom accidents will inevitably happen, and when they do, we can either be prepared (w/ adult diapers), or having to chuck our big boy (or big girl) panties down the trash in public (I admit I've done this when I was little) & replace them with new batches of underwear!

Some things should not be "remade". Ever!

I don't know where to begin, but I guess I'll start with how things were when I was growing up.  Of course, that in itself could be a long and very drawn out story all its own, so I'll try to keep it as brief as I can.

Although I was born in the very late 1970's, much of my childhood was in the 1980's & the 1990's as well.  During that time, because I was born with certain congenital problems, I had problems with school bullying/harassment on top of having to go to doctor's offices, having them perform tests & procedures, often going to the OR (Operating Room) & the ER (Emergency Room).  On top of all this was being in a home environment full of abuse & assault not just on mine & my older brother's mother, but ourselves as well being at the mercy of an alcoholic, drug addict father.  When he was sober, we nicknamed him the "Disneyland Dad" Dr. Jeykll version.  When he was NOT sober, he became the nightmare version of "Mr. Hyde."

It became so bad that I had experienced many panic attacks as a child.  Now, some among my family relatives might argue that, as a a disabled child, I did things that could've been "deserving" of such treatment.  Most of this went beyond a simple "spanking", so no.  Nothing is ever deserving of treatment that borders or is outright abusive & would be considered assault in this day & age.  I often went to school wondering if I had scabs in my head from being struck so many times, but because at that time I had really thick hair, no one ever noticed me checking to see if there had been blood or bloody scabs.

Anyway, there were lucid moments in our family dynamic when we did get together and, in rare form, would actually coexist with each other having fun while as a real family.  Our only real "Family Time" was on Sunday evenings, particularly in the late 1980's.

 Last night (June 6th, 2019) I decided to get diapered up into my adult diapers for the evening despite my having a rather hectic day (again) today.  I began to watch the old TV series "Married With Children", and I came to realize just how awfully sexist it is, even misogynistic, and yet many of the showrunners" were female!  Who knew?  Maybe that was their idea all along to show men that watched the show that women are fed up with their sexist shit, or that women too had equally troublesome & undesirable traits.  Or both.  What I think happened was the opposite, but that is neither the point or the message I want to convey here.

I mean, this was one of two shows (the other one being "The Simpsons") that, while growing up, were the two TV series in which my immediate family unit (myself, the older sibling, my mom & dad) all watched together, and in the same room.  And the kicker?  We were not all trying to yell at each other, or worse, try to kill each other.  We may have been very dysfunctional, but I think that was why we identified so much of our quaint little family unit a lot! 

It was extraordinarily rare for any of us to miss an episode, because it was the full hour of television in which we were peacefully setting aside time to be with each other.  Like our "neutral zone" as it were.  Though now that I have been watching the series MWC as an adult, I find Al Bundy to be as much an unnecessary asshole as Peggy Bundy is an unnecessary antagonist & anti-"all men who resembled Al Bundy" like their mutual nosy neighbor, Marcy Rhodes Darcy.  When I watch it, I see it as the pure garbage negative television that it is, worse than Jerry Springer.  Though Maybe it was a necessary look into how families across the country who were either low middle class, poor, etc really behaved not just to each other, but to the people around them and in the community.  Maybe the days of "Leave it to Beaver" & "Father Knows Best" were just totally snowing us (blowing up bullshit into our minds) to believe that "perfect families" existed, when we know now that there is no such thing as a "perfect family", and never has been.

When someone says how they liked the days when children respected their parents, either through intimidation, or through fear of "God", ask them how that went in their home.  When they say "All I needed was my butt whooped, and I acted straight (good)!", ask them if that was REALLY how it was.  Because as much as I am well behaved now, I don't credit it to the alcoholism, the substance abuse, on the part of my late father who seemed to believe in much the same philosophy.  I don't believe in the idea of "parenting with an `Iron Rule' kind of approach", but I also don't believe in the idea to do "parenting w/ a "hands off" approach" either.  There has to be a right balance, coupled with patience, understanding, and realizing that just because your parents whooped your ass, sometimes harshly, doesn't mean it's appropriate in this day & age.  If ever while you've "spanked" your child, that your hand goes from open hand to a closed fist, or that you go into a rage-filled anger toward something minor your kid did, you've just crossed the line from being disciplinarian to "abusive parent". 

Anyway, thankfully when I am diapered up, watching crappy shows like MWC don't bother me as much anymore.  I occasionally wish that we were a better behaved family unit dynamic.  The TV series MWC & the other dysfunctional family, "The Simpsons" made our world (among countless others) sitcom'ed television.  Sometimes, we felt like someone took our family's social dynamic while incognito, and made it into one of the longest running sitcoms in television.  But it wasn't the greatest sitcom ever!  As I said, I see it for what it is now.  It's fucking garbage!!

In every measurable sense, MWC is as much garbage TV as say MTV's "16 & Pregnant" or any other supposed "Reality TV" genre of our day (and decades prior).  I'd put it up there with the likes of "Jerry Springer", "Maury Povich", even "Dr. Phil".  But does that mean we need to regress back to "Leave it to Beaver", "The Patty Duke Show", "Mr. Ed", etc?  No, I don't think going back is a good idea, but I don't think indulging in "reality television" is a good thing either.  What we need is something that, while promoting a more positive lifestyle in families of any dynamic, reminds us that there are challenges to being a complicated family.  That real shit does happen, and needs to be dealt with in a very real way, but with patience, understanding, compassion, and I don't know... maybe a little bit of restraint in how any of us respond.  Remember, kids learn more by body language than they do by any adult speaking to them about anything they say or do that is "off color" or a "potty mouth" situation.  The goal should be LEADING BY EXAMPLE!  Something I think we've often forgotten in the world of instant gratification, instant reactions but little action in substance, instant knee-jerk comments like "I was raised by the belt, and I turned out okay!" mentality.  Because a "one size fits all" disciplinary method is NOT always going to be the "cure" to poor manners, misbehaving children, poor attention spans, etc.

If you're not leading by example, and explaining why along the way, you're not teaching your kids shit!  If you can realize that one truth, maybe there's hope for us all!  Or so I hope!

With love,

Lt. Col. F1r3ch1ck3n 2019

The Disney film "Aladdin" live action vs. animated versions!

This morning's blog post is about the following tweet from Twitter:

Aladdin tweet (Remake live action film based on the original animated 1992 film of the same title!)

I'm a little biased towards the original 1992 animated film.   At the time, I had a crush on a young woman whom the character "Jasmine" reminded me of her.  A lot.  If things went differently in my life, I'm fairly certain she would've been "the one"!

By that, I mean "the one" who I'd have eventually opened up to about my struggles w/ bedwetting (until I was 13yrs old), my fantasies of wearing diapers & of women wearing diapers, etc.  Of course, it didn't happen like that, so I ended up being literally a 40yr old virgin!  Essentially, I have no doubt she would've been the one friend I would have admitted to in confidence about my ABDL (lean heavily towards being a "Diaper Lover") tendencies, resulting mainly from my years as a bedwetter. 

The memories that stick out most in my mind when I think of her from this movie's original 1992 animated version is how she was always warm, compassionate, wanting to help others any way she could, showing empathy & sympathy for other students & other people.  I remember one instance when, after I had the privilege & the honor to sit alongside this young lady who was my crush during that last year in grade school during lunch, we had our normal lunch recess time (play time).  After 30mins, the bell rang to go back to class, and I happen to witness a little girl, possibly a Kindergartner or 1st grade student in the same school, who fell after tripping on a tree root in the patch of grass next to the lunch tables.

She was crying hysterically, but not ONE person offered to help her up, or to get the school nurse, nothing.  Not even the playground monitors & faculty staff.  Until this young lady who was my main crush had seen that little girl crying, and walked up to her, knelt beside her, and tried to console her until a faculty member DID finally take notice.  It was that one instance of her showing empathy & graceful compassion with a soothing voice to help that little girl feel better, and that told me all I needed to know about that young lady, my crush. 

I wish sometimes I could reach out to that young lady, now of course probably married, has kids, etc, and let her know that is why I believe her to be the most kind & understanding young woman I know, even if our time at that school together was brief.  I want her to know that I respect her greatly for that one instance where I saw her helping others as much as she had helped me to cope with the bullying, my problems with an abusive home environment, and also having tons of medical problems from birth defects.  When I saw her doing the same thing for that little girl that she had done for me, I was extraordinary impressed. 

I was in awe of her showing kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy/sympathy, graceful friendliness, a good sense of humor, & genuinely wanted to help people.  If I ever have to do a tribute speech about anyone I feel is worthy of tribute, it would be her.  The young woman who, with her help, has shown me a glimmer of hope, a glimpse of what it's like to have someone care enough to want to help another person out of a kind of obligation to her fellow human being.  An obligation to be kind, to be empathetic, & showing that compassion isn't a lost art among the human race.

I wish only that, if she has kids (and I'm sure she probably does), she has taught them to have the same level of benevolence & humanity that she has shown me!  Taught them right from wrong, and that being an unnecessary asshat / assclown is NOT the goal.  That being hurtful is unacceptable behavior!!  Treating others badly, or being unsympathetic, un-empathetic, or otherwise being highly & inappropriately abusive to someone is also highly inappropriate behavior for anyone, anywhere.

But most of all, I wish for her to know that I remember that incident, and it forever changed my views of the human race.  That there are people in this world who believe in treating people w/ kindness, love, compassion, empathy/sympathy, & being helpful not hurtful!  Being of assistance, not being abusive!  It's because of her one act of compassion that I witnessed (she could've done much more, but that one with the little girl was what sticks in my mind) that helped reignite my interest in Star Trek, Star Wars, & the ideal that we should all be helping each other, rather than hurt ourselves & each other.  That acts of kindness, good deeds, good treatment of others are far more important than being affluent, being famous or a celebrity, or having any sort of high profile job or important title in any profession.  She's also the reason I want to be a musician!  To show people, to express my emotions & feelings about showing that same kindness to everyone is how we will survive this era in our world's history.

Emotional, physical, social, sexual, mental abuse is ALL bad!  Being the opposite of abusive should be the high goals of any one person. 

I know I'm repeating myself, but the film Aladdin reminds me of that young woman, & brings back those memories of that time in my life when I was becoming a teen, later a young adult, & not having the kind of normal life milestones that most people have due to multiple factors & reasons.

I want only to show people how much this young woman has impacted my life in a positive way.  To put on display how I felt during a tumultuous time in my life.  That is why music is so important to me!

Wednesday Random Thoughts from the Colonel

I'm not afraid to admit anymore that, when I do find my future Diaper Lover (DL) Ms. Right, I would like for her to make sure I'm on the right path, even if that means my butt is sore from a good spanking occasionally.  Especially if say my apartment is a mess and I've not cleaned it like I should.

Which is messy at present, and every time I get the urge to clean, I'm overwhelmingly tired, and I don't WANT to do it.  With the right lady in my life, whether I WANT to clean up would be irrelevant if I'd like to keep my behind from getting a belt whoopin' with my own belt!  I mean, that shit sounds painful, even just to think about it, but the humiliating part would be when my future Diaper Lover Ms. Right would be using my own leather belt across my ass as a punishment.  The way I figure it is like this: Yes, spankings can be fun, but NOT when used for a punishment.

So, the terms would be like so:

1. If I or my future Diaper Lover Ms. Right don't do like either of us are supposed to, i.e. cleaning up, doing college assignments, that sort of thing, then the spankings are punishment.

But.....

2. If we just want or need "play time", then spankings are for fun! 😎👍😊💔

The key though is to be sure neither of us cross where the punishment spankings become abusive, and the last thing I want for myself or my future Diaper Lover Ms. Right is to become anything like my parents, especially my late alcoholic drug-abuser father.  I want to make that one thing clear.

But, I admit that having "motivation" from a diaper lover Ms. Right would be extremely helpful, but she has to be able to give as well as receive a spanking.  I'm sure I'll find her soon, and I hope she will be my Turanga Leela from Futurama.  I really love that series, especially the series finale season episode "Game of Tones" where the principal cast including Leela were wearing "dream pants" aka adult diapers. 

Things I think about Daily Volume 1

So, I posted a tweet on Twitter recently relating to this, but I wanted to expand on it to explain the background a little bit.

Some people might think I'm a cliché guy, saying cliché things, but I can assure you all that despite the clichés, I'm a real man, and the things I say about me may sound cliché, but are real about me.  Except for my name.  I protect my anonymity at all costs to:

• Protect myself.
• Protect my family members.
• More importantly keeps me from being exploited by folks who might want to do... well, "not-nice" things.  Things that could include violent actions from a misguided idea that I'm a gay man, despite my saying otherwise.

Let me be clear.  I'm a straight hetero man who is self-proclaimed to be an LGBTQ-ally.  I have family & friends who are a member of the LGBTQ community, and my belief is simple.  I wish them the same happiness and/or misery that any heterosexual couples, married & otherwise, undergo through their intimate relationship(s).

That all being said, here goes my thoughts about my tweet on Twitter regarding what I am looking for, what I want in my life, & what my goals are.  I want to express what kind of guy I am in the world of the ABDL community at-large.  I want people to know (w/o knowing my real identity) the real me.  To that end, I say the following as a response to that particular tweet, which can be read here!

I keep thinking to myself, "I can't be the only guy out there who:

• Is a virgin in every sense of the sexual term.  I've never kissed a girl, held hands with a girl, went on a date with a girl, etc.  Well, now I call girls "women", because saying "girl", to me, implies some lady under the legal age of 18, or 21 in some states.  I don't want to be associated with pedophiles in that regard.  I have my standards like everyone else, I would hope.

• Likes wearing #AdultDiapers, but are not into "adult baby" stuffs.
• Doesn't want nor need sex w/ women due to having been abused/assaulted sexually as a child.

• Also isn't gay, but does support #LGBTQEquality! I believe everyone is free to finding love with whomever they so choose, even if it's not with me.  Example, if I like a woman, but she says to me she's gay, I'm okay with that.  I just want nothing but happiness for her!

• Just wants a female companion who also enjoys wearing diapers for fun, but also uses them for practical applications as well.

I don't think it's unreasonable to want such things in life. Out of the billions of men on this planet Earth, I can't be the only one who thinks this way, or has feelings like these in which I feel like I.... well, I don't want to use the term "owed" something, but it'd be nice to believe that I, along with many millions of Americans, deserve some shred of happiness in my life despite having multiple physical & mental health problems (no, I'm not crazy, just have chronic lifelong depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder 2, stuff like that which is fairly common nowadays even without taking any kind of legal prescription medications or illegal drugs), and have lots of financial trouble.

I mean, yeah, the woman "purse" would be nice, but I wouldn't care if she's as poor as I am, as long as we're happy being together, and that she can take care of herself regardless of me, but I don't deny that having a woman "nurse" would help a lot.  Sometimes, I need a fresh set of ears, and of course a good set of eyes since I'm blind in one eye myself due to birth defects.  It would be nice to have a woman in my life that helps ease my anxiety, depression, etc.  

I don't think any of that is unreasonable.  Do you?  I hope not.  Because as it is with society now, having even reasonable goals are sometimes considered "unreasonable", and some think that any men who say such things about wanting a woman companion (w/o the sex) is still sexist!

Colonel FireChick3n sharing thoughts about ABDL

 So, I have been reading some old news articles about people committing crimes while in adult diapers, and I know this is an old topic, and it probably doesn't even have any current relevancy at the moment, but I wanted to sit down and write some thoughts on the subject.  Going forward, the acronym "ABDL" stands for "Adult Baby(ies), Diaper Lover(s)".  There's a lot of broken up sub-terminology under the umbrella term of ABDL, but for the purposes of this blog, I chose to keep those terms as simplistic as possible.

That being said, I'd like to begin with the following to get into this somewhat relevant topic of folks who believe our ABDL community is full of something we're ABSOLUTELY NOT (or so I hope)!  Being either an AB or a DL is NOT a symptom or a cause of mental illness or mental health disorders.  We're just as "normal" as the person you might be standing next to, or are your friends.  There's nothing wrong w/ enjoying or using adult diapers!  In fact, there are number of legitimate reasons why some adults might choose to wear diapers.  Many of the reasons are examples of practical uses of adult diapers.  I've taken the liberty of providing a short list, but it's not an all-inclusive one by no means.  My list can be accessed by the following link below to a post from earlier in this blog site.  If you'd like to contribute one that I have not considered, by all means I invite you to email me at ltcolf1r3ch1ck3n@yahoo.com, and be sure to use the subject line "For Your Blog: Good Reasons for Diapers!".  The email address is a private one that I set up for the sole purpose of communication in the ABDL world/communities.  My family & friends have absolutely ZERO (0) knowledge about it, and I prefer to keep it that way!

The unofficial list of good reasons to wear adult diapers!

But that is not the topic I want to discuss in this post, but it is related to the idea of presenting reasons that are truly legit for wearing adult diapers.  Many people, across the United States especially, have this notion that if someone's wearing adult diapers, they have one of many reasons why, and a lot of those acumens aren't good or positive in their minds.  Some of which are:

1) They're physically sick.  A classic, and quite common, misconception is that the person buying and/or wearing adult diapers is because we (either as an individual or a group) have a physical ailment that makes us, to any degree, suffer incontinence.  Some people will either say something like "Oh, my dear.  I'm so sorry you have to go through that.  I hope you get better!", trying to be kind and accepting without having a preconceived notion that the person with the diapers is something else entirely.  This isn't necessarily a negative reason until someone comes along, because there are some in the ABDL community who truly have a physical ailment that causes them to lose control over their bodily waste fluids like their bowels, or their bladders.  But to make the assumption, or even to assume that someone MUST have a medical diagnosis to be buying / wearing adult diapers is not cool.  Even if the assumption is correct, it's still not cool to point it out to others.  Some folks, like myself, value not having a whole store know about my ailments, such as taking medication to prevent a serious medical problem, but in doing so I must take milk of magnesia to counteract the side effect of constipation from that medication.  If someone in a store were to point at me while I was grabbing baby powder plus an absorbent underpad so I can put my diapers on without my stinky butt on my floors or my bed, and say "That guy is a weirdo.  He's buying baby powder, and it looks like he's reaching for the adult diapers!  He must be some kind of sick sicko fuck!", that might get a bit irritating.  Thankfully, it's not happened to me.  Most people in stores mind their own fucking business these days.  I am happy that no one gives me a ration of shit about buying "baby products" for my adult diaper wearing rituals.

2) We're mental or mentally ill.  This one is equally common, but it's a far more negative idea, because the person who suspects mental illness is basing their assumptions entirely from old tales of mentally ill patients having an inability to care for themselves, i.e. cannot bathe themselves, or go to the bathroom without help, or have problems with bedwetting even as an adult.  That last one could also be a physical sickness notion on the part of the person who is being "judgmental" to the one who is buying/wearing their adult diapers.

3) We're child predators.  This one is absolutely the WORST possible supposition that some people make any time they hear of someone wearing adult diapers, buying them, etc.  Somehow, those folks think that individuals who either buy or wear their adult diapers are involved, somehow or some way, in the abuse or assault of children, sexual and/or otherwise.  I've yet to hear of a single instance of this happening at the hands of any one indiviual AB or DL in our ABDL community, but it's not hard to understand why some groups of people make that unacceptable preconceived assumption.  On the contrary, I would think that if a person is buying and/or using "baby diapers", then that assumption MIGHT (emphasis on MIGHT) have merit.  Even still, some folks in our ABDL world are small enough, especially among women ABDL's, who really can fit into the larger size baby diapers, which in of itself isn't a "dead giveaway" of a potential child predator.  I can say with some degree of certainty that, 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the ABDL community are HUGELY against any and all forms of child abuse, assault, sexual assault, molestation, etc.  In fact, I myself have family relatives who are still technically children, and it would break my heart completely if I learned that someone in the ABDL community attempted to harm them in any way.  If I saw pictures of my family members being blasted on the internet that were unsavory, and also illegal as they are under 21, or 18 in most other states, there would be absolutely NOWHERE that individual who posted those images or video could hide on Earth from me.  And my cane!  In fact, they'd have to go to a hospital to have that cane surgically removed from their ass if I found out my family members were being unlawfully, illegally exploited in such a way.  I would definitely welcome jail time if it meant my family members would not have to feel endangered in any way.  That's not a threat, it's a fact and a promise!

4) We're a sex predator.  I don't know how this one came about, and I don't want to know either.  I've read some old stories about individuals, mainly men, who tried forcing women into compromising positions, or forcing them into diapers, or made unwelcome/unwanted advances to women while in diapers.  If a woman made unwanted or unwelcome advances toward me while she was wearing diapers, I'd feel highly uncomfortable around them.  Yes, guys like myself do exist in the world, men who are sensitive, but still heterosexual.  The kind of men who, if a young woman had been heavily drinking at a party, and an opportunity comes up where he could take advantage of her but doesn't, are more than willing to be called all sorts of things, but are deep down very proud of making the kind of responsible choice to not take advantage of women (or men), whatsoever!  I'd rather be called "gay" or "a homo" if it means that I did the right thing and hadn't done anything to a woman, drunk or otherwise. 

We are in a society where if a grown man wears adult diapers, he is seen as sick in the head or something to do with mental health issues.  Whereas if a lady, a woman (young or otherwise) is wearing an adult diaper, she is seen as cute, adorable, or has a kind of sweetness about her.  Some people in my country, the United States, believe that if a woman wears diapers, she can still be "sexy as Hell", especially among heterosexual males.  I admit, I find women who wear adult diapers to be very much attractive.  It's probably just coincidence that I'm a heterosexual man.  I've always been a heterosexual man, despite what some kids in my latter grade school years through high school would have anybody believing.  Yes, I've even been called "a homo" due to my inability to have a woman for a date, or having not dated EVER.  Also, I admit that I don't look at men the way I do toward women, because I'm a heterosexual guy.  That said, I think that if there are men brave enough to tell their friends and family about their "adult baby" or "diaper lover" side, more power to them.

I've told a number of people, mostly women, about my diaper lover side.  Of that small handful number of people I've told, one of which totally breached protocol & a promise to NOT tell other family members & relatives when that person got drunk at a party, and ended up telling our mutual relatives & their friends from work that I liked "hot chicks in Huggies".  In fact, I was one day put on the spot about it, and I had to tell a lie saying "I have no idea what you're talking about!", and hoped & prayed no one looked any further.  I especially didn't want to admit to it while riding in a car filled with both my aunt (by marriage) & uncle, and plus a female young cousin, as in younger than 18 cousin at the time.  But that's what I'm talking about.  If I had been a woman, then nobody in my family would've said a damned thing about my "diaper side", but because I'm a guy, they were all curious about it, and not in a good way "curious".  

I was thankful they didn't ask me point blank about myself wearing adult diapers, but it was definitely not fun learning that my own sibling had betrayed my trust.  The same sibling who had directed mutual friends of ours to sexually assault me at 7 or 8 yrs old, because that got my sibling's jollies going.  Sick fuck!

Anyway, the bottom line is that depending on who is asking about me buying and/or using adult diapers, I can either:

• Lie - Hope they don't ask more pointed questions about it.
• Exaggerate - Sometimes known as the "truthful lie", stretching the truth just enough for it to be a lie, or....
• Tell the person asking those questions to mind their own fucking business.

I haven't had to use the very last option, and by the way this is not an all-included list of what to do when someone gets a little too nosy or prodding into private affairs just a tad too much to start with.

For now, I think that's where I'm going to end this blog.  I want vanilla folks to understand one thing, and one thing only.  For the most part, those of us in the ABDL world / community are harmless.  Many of us are uncomfortable with sharing our true identities for a number of reasons.  My own stories of having my trust betrayed by a family member are among those reasons.  It's the equivalent in some respects to "coming out" as either [gay, transgender, transvestite, etc].  If we tell the wrong person, and they use that info against us, we could end up being accused of things we ARE NOT! 

I'm extremely careful to not give away my true name, fearing that if someone finds out about my "diaper lover" world, they might not want to be associated with me.  I would much rather not go through that issue.